The Surreal Life
by Pink Jello
Summary: Sasuke comes back to a changed Naruto who's more wild and beautiful than he could have ever imagined a person to be. Everything seems so different and like a dream as they piece their friendship and growing relationship back together.


As of right now, this thing is un-betad, so if anyone would be kind enough to volunteer to beta for me, that'd be great, because I'm deathly scared of me writing horrible, repetitive, and grammatically incorrect fiction, no matter how perverse it may be. :)

Warning: Sexually explicit content in further chapters between male characters, if it ever comes to it; fowl mouths, OOC-ness, and slightly A/U.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and company.

A Different Beginning

We didn't speak to each other; we hardly ever spoke seriously to each other before, why would it be any different now? We didn't _need_ to say anything. Not at first. There were still some things that I needed to tell him, like that day so many years ago; I regretted every day after that for trying to kill him. Not that I thought of him everyday, I'm sure I didn't, but I should have stuck with him. He had been my only true friend and now I felt things were so different that they would never be remotely the same again.

However, Naruto had drastically changed.

I had been in Konoha no more than five months when I saw him again for the first time in so long. In that time I had learned that once Naruto had returned from training with the legendary Sannin Jiraiya, he came back and stayed for only a year before disappearing from the village. No one knew where he went or had heard anything about where he had gone off to. It was unnerving to think that he actually did that; he just gave up everything took off. But I also felt myself get angry when they told me that it took them two days to realize that he was just plain gone. Couldn't that man be seen anywhere at any time of day? That's how it seemed, and I'm sure everyone he knew would have seen him at least once a day. But it took them two days to notice he wasn't there. _Two_. They said they searched everywhere for weeks, even going to other countries, but didn't find anything. With a two day head start, I couldn't blame them. They were hoping against hope that he hadn't come after me alone, but were pretty sure he did, since they couldn't think of any other reason why he would run away. Sakura had asked me if I knew anything of him, like if Orochimaru had heard, seen, or killed him, and I said I hadn't. Although Orochimaru was a creep, we had still developed somewhat of a relationship and were on good speaking terms, even if every time I talked to him I ended up trying to kill him. He basically told me everything he knew from outside sources ranging from all over the place. But never did I hear Naruto mentioned, nor did I hear of his disappearance.

The only thing the Hokage could come up with was that Naruto was dead, for they were sure that he would have come back by now, for it had been five whole years since he had left. It was not a thought that was I willing to accept so easily, even if it had seemed that way to all the people around me, but what else could be keeping him away for so long if he wasn't dead? He still wanted to be Hokage; wouldn't that alone make him determined enough to come back to Konoha?

I didn't want to think about it, but I did, and the more I did, the angrier I got. That moron; he was mine alone to kill and now he had gone off and got himself killed. I bet he died a stupid death, too, like falling onto a pitchfork, or dying of malnutrition, or something; he always did eat way too much Ramen.

I wanted to figure this whole thing out, which seemed pointless because it had already been five years and these fools hadn't been able to put anything together. Then again, I knew him better than anybody, probably, and felt that I had a higher chance of solving things than anyone else. Now that I think about it, this was a silly idea.

When I first came back to Konoha, the sun was setting and there were two ANBU guarding the gate outside. They were obviously people who didn't recognize me, for they merely glanced at me, but I told them my business and passed through.

People were staring at me curiously as I walked towards Hokage Tower. At the time, I wondered if maybe Naruto had become Hokage by then; I'm sure by 22 you can become Hokage if you were really that damn good, which I had no doubt that Naruto probably was. Anyways, it was him I was set on seeing first.

I wasn't surprised when people gave me concerned and scared looks; under florescent light I looked rather ghastly and ghostlike, which I could only figure that in the light of the setting sun, people could only see the orange glow wrapped around me and think indifferently of my skin. I was surprised, though, that I hadn't seen anybody who I knew or who knew me while passing through. However, I did see a stream of young girls staring up at me with their eyes glazed over. As always, I paid them no attention.

There was nobody I recognized as I stepped into Hokage Tower, and I think that anybody who had seen me would not think it could possibly be Uchiha Sasuke, or try to jump and handcuff me, so I proceeded to the woman's office. Right as I was about to enter, I wondered whether it was a good idea or not to really go in that room. What was I planning on happening once I went in there, a welcome back party or an arrest? Was it Naruto in there or was it the woman still? And if so, does she even know who I am? Well, of course she does; I'm a missing nin and she would have been all over my case, whether she knew me before I went missing or not.

I had no choice in the matter, however; I had paused while my hand was on the doorknob, looking like a fool, no doubt, when I heard somebody running down the hall. I had just begun to turn my head when they pushed into me, making me turn the handle by accident and fall through the doorway as it opened, ruining any chance I had at making a smooth entrance. Luckily the person didn't fall on top of me, or else that would have looked really strange, but I did end up falling flat on my face on the floor. I didn't have to look to sense that the person who so rudely ran into me stopped, and I even heard a feminine voice start blubbering,"Oh, my goodness! I'm terribly sorry…" before trailing off. I at first wondered why before I looked up and saw that not only was the Hokage standing up from her desk, but a whole group of people in ANBU uniforms were standing around me, having been seated a few seconds previously.

The Hokage, who had been glaring at me, saw my face from when I looked up and immediately her face softened ever so slightly and she told the ANBU to leave except for one. She then sat back down at her desk while I stood up and straightened myself up, and the remaining ANBU solider stood in the back of the office, watching.

"So," she said while intertwining her fingers together and looking at me. "I know who are. Uchiha Sasuke, right?"

I nodded. She unlocked her fingers and kept on looking at me with almost a sad look in her eyes. "You are the missing nin who disappeared nine years ago, after attempting to kill Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

I cringed inwardly at the way she said this, but gave a slight nod. She nodded slowly as if she had received such troublesome information that she didn't quite know how to react. She then sighed and looked to me as if she was about to tell me someone had died, which wasn't too far from the truth.

"Then I'm afraid to tell you that Uzumaki Naruto is dead, but not by your hand. He went missing some 5 years ago and hasn't shown up since. We only have so many theories to choose from as to what happened to him, and that's the only thing we can say for sure. As for your other team mate, Haruno Sakura, she is still here, as well as your old team leader, Hatake Kakashi. I'm afraid you cannot see them now, as we need to keep you here and question you, if you can understand. But in time we'll allow them to see you if you wish."

The news was shocking to me at first, but as I said, I soon began to accept after a month or so. I even considered going out to search for the dobe myself, but figured, 'It's been five years. He could be anywhere by now.'

I didn't want to see anyone in that time, though I did talk to Sakura a little bit. I was glad to see that she had grown out of her silly crush for me and was now a beautiful and mature woman. I mean, I knew she must have changed in these past nine years without seeing me, but I was pleasantly surprised to find how naturally we acted around each other. I felt like I could talk to her now, even if we only talked for about ten minutes a day and I still acted a detached and distant from her. Who could blame me when I found out my best friend was dead?

And so, for the next 5 months, I lived in a small cell in Hokage Tower, feeling like a prisoner, though Sakura assured me I wasn't, and occasionally going to the training grounds with Kakashi. He was mightily impressed by the way I had progressed in my training, but could only assume nothing less, as I _was_ with Orochimaru for 3 years. I only went easy on him, which is the truth, though I wasn't able to beat him by doing so. I no longer had much intent to kill so they were never fierce battles, which Kakashi noticed, but said nothing at all.

Then, one night, as Sakura was permitted to take me out to dinner, since the whole place was edgy about me and I was under constant surveillance, we were strolling past the Ichiraku ramen stand. I looked on it fondly, remembering all the times Naruto had dragged us over to this place after so many training sessions. I would always refuse to eat anything from the place and try to ditch them, but both Sakura and Naruto always made me stay somehow, whether by force or persuasion, which didn't happen very often unless I was forced. I completely stopped and just looked at the place and all its customers, which there was only one, and it looked like he was passed out at the bar. Next to me, Sakura gave me a strange look but then stared at the bar as well when she realized what it was. We stood there, with people starting to stare at us, just watching the place before I turned to her and said, "Let's eat here."

She merely nodded in agreement, smiling, and said, "Yeah, sure. I haven't been here in a while myself."

We both sat down at the bar, she with a sad smile on her face and I just looking plain sad, and ordered two bowls of miso ramen, Naruto's favorite flavor. I was sitting only one seat away from the passed out stranger and looking at him curiously. He had a hood over his head so you couldn't see any of his physical features, not even his hair. I turned to Sakura, wondering if she would say anything, but hoping she wouldn't as I just wanted to sit in silence and remembrance. Luckily, I got the same vibe off of her and we just sat in comfortable silence. When our ramen was ready, it dawned on me that I still didn't like ramen very much, but I broke my chopsticks anyway and began to slowly slurp my noodles.

I ate out of politeness but when I turned to see that Sakura hadn't even touched her noodles, I put my chopsticks and looked around the place. Then I heard a sniffle next to me and turned to see that Sakura was crying. Slow tears were making their way down her powdered cheek, and I didn't know whether to hug her or wipe them away or anything. She turned to see me looking at her and smiled before saying, almost apologetically, "Sorry, this place brings back memories, you know? All those times Naruto begged for the both of us to come here and all I did was make him pay for ramen I never ate and ignore him all the time."

I looked back at my bowl of ramen, watching the oils in the broth swirl around in the pale liquid, not really knowing what to say but wanting to agree with her. I heard her starting to cry harder, squeaking out, "And now, he's just- just…"

"Yeah," I said. "I know. Naruto's gone." I turned to watch her cry, about to do something comforting, though not having much experience, when I saw from the corner of my eye, my bowl of ramen slowly tip over, and before I knew it, the entire bowl had fallen off the counter and onto my lap completely drenching me. It fell to ground with a crash and broke into pieces. I stood up and turned around, angry and looking for an explanation.

"What the-"

"Who said my name?" The stranger sitting next to me, who was sleeping, apparently, had his hand placed where my bowl of ramen had just been seconds before. He looked up groggily at me with squinty eyes, and as I saw his face, all anger I felt was gone, replaced by emotions entirely new and unfelt as I saw three whisker-like marks on either side of the man's face.

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Ok, so I hate the way I ended this chapter, but what do you think so far? Please tell me if I should continue this story or not, cause if not, it will be easier to drop than a 20 pound bag of potatoes, but if so then I will work extra hard to stay on track and update on a regular basis. So, thank you and review! And, if you couldn't guess, it's Sasuke talking, and that's how the entire thing will be written. :)


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